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Confessions of a Spooky Twigg: [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Spooky Twigg

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Doing the things! [Sep. 24th, 2015|01:20 am]
Spooky Twigg
[I'm feeling |sleepysleepy]
[Current noise |Seen and not seen by Talking Heads ]

So I've been having therapy for a while now, I'm pretty near the end of my run on it so now it is time to look back on it.

First: Am I still depressed?
Yes. I'm honestly not sure if I'll get to a time when I feel 100% human... It's always a possibility, but I am just so used to the whole thing it's pretty hard to see an end to it.

But it's very important to note that I do feel considerably better.

Secondly: Has it helped my social anxiety?
Oh hell yeah it has! I feel massively more capable of getting things done/talking to strangers/talking to people I know/going out.
When I think about the me at the start of this and the me coming out of this I'm kind of astounded by the diference.
I can talk with more confidence.
I can notice when my brain is working against me and now I have methods of calming myself down and rationalising.
I'm much more capable of being sympathetic with myself.
The anxiety has lessened so much that it's rare that it even flares up.
I've dealt with events that have triggered some of my worst problems. Probing and exploring them has allowed me to come to terms with them. Ignore negative things that they had burnt into me and let myself know that I have moved on.


So yeah... All in all I think it's gone pretty well.

-Spooky
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Confession [Sep. 23rd, 2015|12:49 am]
Spooky Twigg
[I'm feeling |contemplativecontemplative]
[Current noise |Dark black make-up by Radkey]

Forgive me livejournal for I have sinned, it has been eight and a half years since my last confession.

I've no idea if people use this anymore. I'm kind of fine if they don't. Gaze upon me for I am the Spooky who shouts his mindless thoughts into the void.

Things that I might possibly do some posts about a few things if I actually remember to do more than this one post and then forget for another decade.

-Life on Anti-depressants.

-Therapy (as in with a therapist, not the band who I still love).

-Aphantasia (living with no visual imagination)

-Living in Blackpool.

-Living the dream (Hi past me! You work in a record store now!).

-Music

-Comics

-Polyamory

-Probably being bored... Looking at my past posts it's probably going to be lots of that.

So thanks for reading imaginary person or future me.
May your day be bright and ever so shiny.
-Spook
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whoop! [Jan. 15th, 2007|05:34 pm]
Spooky Twigg
[Current Location |The Barn]
[Current noise |David Ford - Nobody]

So I here I am

.... I'm currently sat in my room....

This being the room I've had for the last 6 or so months...... and has not been mentioned at all... *mostly cause I've not updated and stuff.... but thats not the point* and for the first time in ages I am sat ona swivley chair... and I'm looking at a computer.....a computer WITH THE INTERNET!!!!!

so yeah.... maybe  from now on you'll see me actually  updating





.... ok so yeah maybe not....

maybe I'll post a quiz or something though

Peace Out!
-Spooky
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warg! [Aug. 1st, 2006|09:43 am]
Spooky Twigg
[Current Location |spinny chair]
[I'm feeling |lazylazy]
[Current noise |Freezepop - Here comes a special boy]

Freezepop - Lazy

telephone call woke me up at noon
i thought it was much too soon
pulled the covers tightly up and then
i went back to sleep again

woke once more at half past one
getting out of bed's no fun
i'm so cozy , won't you pretty please
bring a bowl of rice krispies

feeling lazy, feeling tired
feeling sleepy, feeling slow
feeling slothful, feeling sluggish
feeling drowsy don't you know

not up yet, it's after two
nice here lying close to you
feeling like a happy kitty cat
pat my head and scratch my back

clock tells me it's nearing three
no place that i'd rather be
what a lazy lazy life this is
swooning from your kisses

feeling lazy, feeling tired
feeling sleepy, feeling slow
feeling slothful, feeling sluggish
feeling drowsy don't you know

what's the hurry anyway
i can wait to start my day
won't you stay in bed with me
eat candy bars and watch tv

now my dear, it's after four
can't get enough, so gimme more
five o'clock is already past
darkness is approaching fast

feeling lazy, feeling tired
feeling sleepy, feeling slow
feeling slothful, feeling sluggish
feeling drowsy don't you know
feeling lazy, feeling tired
feeling sleepy, feeling slow
feeling slothful, feeling sluggish
feeling drowsy don't you know
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OMG he's back!!!!! [Jul. 27th, 2006|09:00 am]
Spooky Twigg
[Current Location |spinny chair!]
[I'm feeling |dorkydorky]
[Current noise |the eighties matchbox b-line disaster - I hate the blues]

meh, no one reads these, but my gosh I finally have the internet back!
after like 2 months of being without it and generally twitching through withdrawl

but now I have broadband! I can go on myspace and listen to songs without it cutting off every 6 seconds! (which I have been doing constantly with the eighties matchbox so far :P)

So yeah.... this is the point where I want to type about how emo I am... I miss Ni lots and lots... but I'm not gonna wax poetic about it... cause I know that if anyone reads this it'll be ni (yes that's right! I mean you! :p) But I do miss her stupid amounts at the moment!

God this heat is killing me!

*Sheds eight layers of skin and tries to carry on with life*

Right That's it, I'm gonna stop typing before I start melting!

Good bye!
-Spooky
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Alive!!! Alive I say!!! [Jun. 6th, 2006|09:16 am]
Spooky Twigg
[Current Location |Spinny chair, Whatton]
[Current noise |Divine comedy - happy goth]

yeah.... so this is my (what has now become tri) monthly "I'm alive" post... featuring probably two things and then me getting bored and not knowing what to write!

over the last 4 days I've been at my work doing some insane hours for the england srilanka test match.... which has been... well.... a mixture of fun, stress and general foot pain (although not in equall amounts.... infact... if put in rank that list goes lowest to highest)

Today, after getting my equvilant opf a proper nights sleep I am feeling much better!

For some reason I currently feel like the synthasiser in hybrid stygmata (the apostacy) by Dimmu borgir.... I'm not sure why....

Gah... ok that's it... I suck at teh blogging.... I'm gonna go read some crap on bash.org...

peace out!
- That guy who ocationally talks to people... like... occationally
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spend ze cash! [Mar. 14th, 2006|06:24 pm]
Spooky Twigg
[I'm feeling |bouncybouncy]
[Current noise |Horrorpops - Where they wander]

Well after yesterday being my birthday and making me feel all old (The big Two Oh) I decided that today I'd cheer myself up on my day off by going out and spending lots of money!... it appears to have worked so far!

I got The second series of the mighty boosh, Spiderman 1&2 and Fightclub on DVD... and then I got five albums (horrorpops - Hell yeah!, They might be giants - severe tire damage, This is menace - no end in sight, the damned - Black album and finally the buzzcocks singles collection.)

I'm currently making my way slowly through the CDs.... I'll come back on weather they were a worthwhile purchase at a later date...

for now Peace Out!
-Spooky

(oh and I got all the series of Buffy cause I have the coolest friends in existence anywhere.... so I'll be watching that till like stupid o'clock tonight aswell!)
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Getting old! [Mar. 8th, 2006|09:07 am]
Spooky Twigg
[I'm feeling |bouncyZombie Dancey]
[Current noise |the Misfits - Teenagers for Mars!]

ok... so next monday it's my 20th birthday... I'll be facing a dreaded "0" birthday... so to prepare myself for this I've been doing things that make me feel young and teenagerish still...

the first act of this was pissing about with two of my friends and two acoustic guitars in the middle of the town nearest to us... (in the dark, the freezing cold and with ice cream to keep us motivated :P).

Since then I've been listening to all the random bands that make me feel young (as in all the ones I've totally loved over the last 6 or so years)...

I need to think of some more things to enjoy my last teenage week!

Current music from 2/3 years ago

Peace out
-Spooky
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ALIVE! [Mar. 1st, 2006|09:31 am]
Spooky Twigg
[Current noise |Soft Cell - Torch]

Oh my god! I'm still alive! I've currently been very busy at work.... or just generally no where near a computer at all... so uhhhhm this (along with every website I go on) has been getting a bit neglected recently..... not that I'd have had anything that interesting to report if I had have been on anyway.... but you get the general idea....

wow... this was pointless.... and still very short after over a month of not posting anything.... that's slightly worrying :S

Peace out!
-Spooky
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Night walking [Jan. 23rd, 2006|11:18 am]
Spooky Twigg
[I'm feeling |sleepysleepy]
[Current noise |David ford - Family Affair]

Right, recently at work I've been getting the night shift more and more frequently and this has started happening at just the same time that our company has decided that the pub isn't making enough money for us to be able to have our taxis paid backat the moment. Now being a man who (after chrtistmas and a few bouts of random spending) hasn't got as much money as he'd like to have, I've been walking the part of the journey home that I normally get the Taxi from.

So last night after work (where I'd been aching all day after having a day of paintballing, going to rok city and really not sleeping as much as I should've) I got of the bus and started walking at my usual place. When I get about 3 quarters of a mile from my house all the roadlights go and I'm left in darkness. I walk down this road with the same kind of worried march. Half way down the road a car drives past... slows down as it gets to me... and then drives on to the end of the road. I feel a bit worried about this... trying to figure why on earth they were doing that. When it gets to the end of the road the car turns around and heada back towards me... It indicates and pulls up roight next to me (I'm talking down the left side of the road so it's facing the wrong way on the road) and well... to tell you the truth I'm shit scared. Just as I'm wondering why one of them hasn't mugged me yet the window winds down. "what are you doing out this lare?". "I'm walking home from work" I answer. While I do this I see that the car has the words "crimestoppers" written on the side. They go on to ask me my name and house number (which I give them... cause well I'd done nothing wrong) and they drive off again. Now I wouldn't've minded this encounter so much... if it weren't for the fact that the car was then parked at the end of my road when I got there... and didn't move at all till I'd started going down it.

I feel this is gonna be fun when they have to stop me another 3 or 4 times this week...

I'm glad that these organisations can help prevent crime by driving round dark roads and scaring the shit out of people... LEts hope they actually find SOMEONE walking down that road one day who might actually do something :P

Rantything over
-Spooky
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glaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaablfeahdfdsj [Jan. 19th, 2006|09:42 am]
Spooky Twigg
[I'm feeling |blahblarg?]
[Current noise |System of a Down - Dreaming]

Boredom has oficially set in way too far now... I've been sitting reading Bash.org or coming up with stupid ideas for songs/music videos or just general weirdness. (on that note if anyone knows where I can get uber cheap army uniforms /do budget film making, please contact me :p)

My work shifts look like they're being cut down again... (although of course it won't be on wednesday or saturday nights when I want to be out.... THEN I'll still have work...)

blarg
-Spooky
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blah! [Jan. 15th, 2006|02:10 pm]
Spooky Twigg
[Current noise |System of a Down - Stealing Society]

ok... I'm getting quite bored of work at the moment... When I'm not being compeltely bored by the lack of customers it seems that the manager has the need to bore me by tell me how "really I'm an alright manager" and "doesn't this place seem to be picking up?"... I'm just starting to nod along to all the conversations and try and ignore her... It's got to be bad when I'd rather stand and count the toothpicks than talk to the other members of staff right?

At least I've been paid now and (for at least a short period of time) I'm not completely broke... which is nice!

As a result of this I've bought the new system of a down album (finally!) and the new VNV nation album.... both of which have turned out to be very, very good (although the VNV album is patchey... there's some tracks that are ace and other that I ptobably won't listen to that many more times...)

Anyway... I'm bored of work... I want to talk to interesting people!
Peace Out
-Spooky
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kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatie! [Jan. 11th, 2006|08:56 am]
Spooky Twigg
[Current noise |Dog Fashion Disco - Rapist eyes]

Wow.... the gig last night was truely fantastic! there ended up being 3 supports before him. The first one was called Lucy Day who was a soloish artist of a relatively country nature... she was quite good... but was let down by her band being a bit dodgy (though the guy on the semi acoustic had the best nu-metal beard I've seen in ages :P). The second band were called Meandervent.... and they were completely ace! they consisted of a pianist/vocalist a Bassist/guitarist and a violinist/percussionist... and they were really interesting... put me in mind of the dresden dolls slightly (probably because of insane piano and weird lyrics) and were generally lots of fun (will be heading to their myspace sometime today). The third guy was called Si Conally... although he was quite good at what he was doing it didn't really grab me that much... he was just a man and a guitar... nothing overly special!

And then came Mr Ford.... Truely the best time I've seen him (in his solo form and even in Easyworld!) He started with a fantastic rendition of "go to hell" (which has only his voice and a harmonica in it but layers up so much it needs nothing else) and continued in a very good fashion... Not only did he play my favorite song (Katie) but he also played a few non album tracks that were all very cool (and hopefully will be cropping up as b-sides soon).

All in all I had a REALLY cool night last night
Peace Out
-spooky
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whoop! [Jan. 10th, 2006|09:49 am]
Spooky Twigg
[I'm feeling |excitedexcited]
[Current noise |David Ford - A short song about stars]

Well tonight should be officially cool.

I'm heading off to Derby to go and see Mr David Ford (who used to be in Easyworld)This is the the third time I'll have seen him in his Solo escapades... and if this gigs as good as the last 2 then I'll be a VERY happy man (to be fair I'll still be quite happy if it's a bit worse than the other two :p).

There is a large chance I'll give details on how cool the gig was tomorrow!

Peace Out
-Spooky
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switch [Jan. 7th, 2006|11:22 am]
Spooky Twigg
[I'm feeling |happyhappy]
[Current noise |Arcturus - Ad Astra]

wow... so after my last emo entry and my moany new years entry there has been no news from me... this is cause from the 2nd untill yesterday (the 6th) I was back a the house of labadia (where Ni had returned from her time in London 9 or so days early!)... So now...I'm back to being a happy Gilberto once more!

so now (after being up and down like a yo-yo the last month :p) peace may have been restored in the balance of my life... and on that note

Peace Out
-Spooky
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WHOOOOP!!! [Jan. 1st, 2006|11:32 am]
Spooky Twigg
[I'm feeling |mellowmellow]
[Current noise |Dead Kennedys - holiday in cambodia]

so yep... tis the new day of a new year.... (so happy one to everyone there!)

I think this years gone pretty well mostly (this I only made 3 people hate me this year :P) and well... I only felt slightly down... it's like a world record for me or something like that :P

Annoyingly work WASN'T much fun at all... either because my boss was tottaly drunk and pissing me off cause she was telling us all to do work while sat there sipping on her 15th becks or whatever... or because at midnight I got chased around the room benny hill style by all the middle aged women trying to give me a bloody new years kiss...

so yeah, heres to a funky year!

Peace Out
-Spooky
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blaaaaaaaaah [Dec. 29th, 2005|07:31 pm]
Spooky Twigg
[I'm feeling |depresseddepressed]
[Current noise |Dead Kennedys - pull my strings]

ok.... I'm really missing Ni....

I'm eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemo now... I'm gonan go write a song or something :P

Peace out
-Spookmo
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name [Dec. 27th, 2005|05:58 pm]
Spooky Twigg
[I'm feeling |hyperhyper]
[Current noise |Dead Kennedys - A child and his lawn mower]

whoooooooop went into town today and bought things with some of the money I should be saving.... I really don't think I've got the hang of this whole "not spending my money" thing.... on that note I'm off to the pub with my mates tonight :P.... I really need to sort this out me thinks :S

Peace out
-Spooky McTwigg
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graaaaaaaag! [Dec. 25th, 2005|09:22 pm]
Spooky Twigg
[I'm feeling |drunkdrunk]
[Current noise |Apoptygma Berzerk - Cambodia]

wow... I'm feeling quite drunk.... Tis indeed christmas day.... Feeling quite bad that I'm sat in my sisters house shunning the rest of my family to go on the internet but I HAVE been hanging out with them all day... I figure I deserve some time on here to get away from it :p.... well that and the fact that they seem to be intent on plying me with wine and stuff....

Peace out (before I get and major spelling mistakes or typos)
-Teh Spook
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*massive wide eyes* [Dec. 23rd, 2005|12:42 pm]
Spooky Twigg
[I'm feeling |shockedtupatishtuppatish!]
[Current noise |Kapow - Sonic is invincible]

This is very odd.... I feel stupidly hyper at the moment...


I think my mum may have drugged my tea....

*techno hands*
-Spooky
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(no subject) [Dec. 22nd, 2005|10:43 am]
Spooky Twigg
[I'm feeling |bouncybouncy]
[Current noise |Ramones - 53rd & 3rd]

Whoooooooooooooooop! the Pogues were stupidly cool on both nights (as were the dropkick murphies). I was really suprised at how well Shane was looking... he looked like he'd lost weight AND he was only about half as pissed as usual (you could make out some of his in between song ramblings :P).

The only annoying thing is there was a girl with a video camera infront of me at the second gig and she kept pointing the camera towards where I was.... which made all the people behind me act like idiots and crush me.... but otherwise it was ace!

Peace out!
-Spooky
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kablam! [Dec. 19th, 2005|12:45 pm]
Spooky Twigg
[I'm feeling |blahMixey]
[Current noise |Apoptygma Berzerk - Cambodia]

Well, I'm off to London today so that I can spend tomorrow and the day after seeing the pogues with my good friends Roreth and Ead.... which should be STUPIDLY cool.

But then this morning I saw Ni for the last time for a couple of weeks... and that was uber lame... so now I'm like captain mixed emotions...

Peace out
-Spooky (the confused) Twigg
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baaaaaaaaaaaaah [Dec. 17th, 2005|12:52 pm]
Spooky Twigg
[I'm feeling |sicksick]
[Current noise |Apoptygma Berzerk - Tuning in to the Frequency of Your Soul]

Well last night didn't really go that well in the end if I'm honest... The food was alright.... but I wasn't really in the mood... The conversations SHOULD have been alright.... but I wasn't in the mood.... and Ni was feeling all tired and stuff... and so was I.

I had way to much to drink.... totally didn't take advantage of the all you caneatness as much as I should've... and now I feel ill... Why does chinese food hate me so?

Peace out
-Ill boy
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the traveler? [Dec. 16th, 2005|09:11 am]
Spooky Twigg
[I'm feeling |blahbroke]
[Current noise |Psycore - the zoo \m/]

Wow.... today is going to be a day truely chock full of traveling... first I have work *which involves 2 bus journeys either way* then after that I have to quickly get ready and into a suit so I can go into Nottingham and pick up Ni and then go BACK to Bingham (a further 3 bus journeys....) then off from bingham to calverton (wherever the hell that is) by Taxi for crimbo mealage before heading back to Bingham and probably cabbing back to my house from there.... I swear transport alone will cost me a mint today :P

Peace out
-Broke spooky
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... [Dec. 12th, 2005|11:50 am]
Spooky Twigg
[I'm feeling |amusedamused]
[Current noise |Tub Ring - Negative one]

You know you live in the country when...

You randomly have a brace of Pheasants hanging from the door handle of your kitchen :-\

Peace out
-Spooky
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